backpack dreams

Last night I couldn't really fall asleep so I began to think about what I imagined what I would do if I found out I was terminally ill.
I think I would send letters to my some of my "idols", then long lost friends, then maybe a couple of "I'm gonna die and my last words to you are 'You suck!'" letters (to those big a-holes, you know who you are... you a-holes.), and then maybe a hate letter to a completely random address, for kicks.
Other than that I would probably get an Xbox 360 in my room somehow and play that.
And then I would try to figure out if I would go to heaven or not, or if there is one.
And then I would play some 360, regardless.
And then I would die.
(If this really happens and I die mid-game: can someone save my progress? I really hate when I lose my save files and have to play through the same parts again, makes the game really un-fun.)

Okay okay, the part about the 360 was a joke (I'm considering the PS3).

Oh and I'd also give hugs to some people.
And then I would like totally make a really sad YouTube video that would get BILLIONS of views. I would do a little slideshow of my life and have a really sad piano backing track too. It would be awesome.

I would also make this totally shitty piece of art, like out of clay or something, I don't know, but since I would die people would accept it as some really modern avant-garde thing and would call it the most GENIUS thing EVER.

Then I would do something really cool right before I die so that's what people will remember me for.
Like, say something really witty.
Like when the doctor says "We've got to pull his cord."
I'll all be like, "How about you've got to pull your mom's cord?"
And my family and friends will all be like, "Yo, you be rockin da insults! Matt rules!"
And I'll all be like "Yo thanks dawgs peace ou-uoiasdfklj1DSJAK!dnaslkjfart!:"

Other than that, any ideas?

(I think I like Picasso but I'm not completely sure yet)

I just found a piece of lint in my belly button and I now realize I've been taking myself too seriously.

If genitals could speak I'd wonder what they would say.

If I gain one thing from my mom other than the talking gene, then I would want to grow plants when I grow up.
They're like pets, but they don't poo. In fact, they get nutrients from poop!
How awesome is that?
I don't know.
I can almost feel a sort of companionship from this one tiny tree my mom has.
My bike fell on it today and bent some of its branches.
I hope it lives!
I just really started talking to it today, it'd be a pity to end our relationship so soon.

Yes.
:(

Chili cheese fry burritos are strangely enlightening (at only 99c).
It is actually exactly what it sounds like.
EXACTLY.
It really sounds like something that some depressed middle aged man would "invent" at home one day after having the same fast food for 283974 days in a row.
I don't know.
Kind of like Space Odyssey-style.
Haha.

My mom talks too much.



Oh!
So THAT'S where I get it from.
Huh.

I was drinking some water until I remembered that it would eventually just become pee and then instead of cold it was warm and instead of tasteless it tasted like pee.

Funny how I can take things for granted, everyday.
Not trying to be "deep" or anything, my printer is broken and it's really inconvenient.
Blarg!

I love my mummy. Mostly.

And my sister could be most of the ungrateful and unreasonable people I know.
I'm just so angry.
Like "Hulk Smash" angry.
I'm not even kidding.
I know my family isn't the most prosperous or whatever but it's still not too bad.
I can at least think a little more positively about how we're doing.
I like to think that I can appreciate what we have, which is actually a lot.
Count your blessings!
Really! I mean it. Do it.
Count them.
Appreciate each moment for what it is!
Seriously, just sometimes she can be so ignorant, and just stubborn.
Blaming things on people, victimizing herself.
Am I even related to her?
Constantly all this negative energy just like EVERYWHERE.
Like a negative aura or karma, filling up whatever room she chooses.
Blame blame blame blame game.
God I want to kill her right now!
Just kidding, murder is a felony.
BAD WORDS

I wish my bike would talk back to me. :(

I'm not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not not crazy.

I cut off my wish bracelet because it was getting annoying but now I really regret it and my wrist seems very naked.
I guess the bracelet gave me hope, even though I forgot what I wished for. So I guess that's okay since I don't really know what I'm hypothetically missing out on. Does this make sense?
My nose is runny, give me a break.
Poor bracelet, you were on there for so long just to be clipped off by some old dirty nail clipper!

I think I'll keep it as a sort of memento of how I carelessly crushed my own dreams.

Also I had a big can of MONSTERRR!!! MOSTANARW! MONSTAR!!! today so don't take this seriously. I don't usually drink caffeine anywho, and that's what I said when I drank coffee at IHOP.
I felt so cool! Ordering coffee, drinking it.
Yup.
I bought the 2.39 can on a whim, just to be dangerous.
I had a mini adventure today, more on that later, I need a tissue.

Postus Scriptus

I just read through some of my older posts and I actually enjoyed them, despite my obnoxious use of the "fuck"-word a few times. I totally underestimated my past angst! It was totally angsty. I think school has given me less time to think. So, posts are getting less and less interesting. Sorry!