backpack dreams

My life really isn't nearly as bad as I make it seem on here.

Labels: arm pity party

My blog makes me look like a big butthole, and maybe I am, but as of now I just like to think I come to this blog when I feel especially angst-y.

Everything is trivial.
Life is mundane.
Life is just a series of projects and tests and haircuts with other dumb things shoved in between.
I need some kind of motivation for school. More school isn't enough.

Uck me all my backed up stuff on the external hard drive was deleted.
I knew I shouldn't of deleted that.
GOD.
I am an idiot.
FML

Question: What are we going to do when we run out of empty days to make holidays? When there are so many things to celebrate in our past that we can't have a single work or school day because of them?
Statement: I want to live in that time.

I don't see it getting any better in the near future, either.
Was it ever any good to begin with?

I watched the video of me being born.
Not the actual birth, oh God no, but my first few seconds of life right after I'd been pulled from the womb.
There was this one part, where I was placed on top of my mom's still bulbous stomach, fresh out of her womb.
I was covered in blood and shit and amniotic flooflabble and I pretty much looked like an alien.
And my mom screamed her head off, almost as if she'd just seen some demon baby.
She had a C-section for my sister, so I was her first "real" birth, and I guess she wasn't expecting me to look so disgusting, I don't blame her.
Plus, she was drugged out of her mind.
So, meh.

Rest of the video is pretty awkward.
Anal thermometers, me peeing on nurses, etc.
But that one little bit gave me the chills.


I hate being poor.
Its not fair, really it isn't.

The main reason would be that I really want health insurance.
I really really want it.
I feel like a doctor could help diagnose this anxiety and this torture called high school.
The doctor would probably just be a big letdown though.


School is just a big letdown.
Family is a big letdown.
Religion is a big letdown.
SNES is a big letdown. (<-- biggest letdown)
My health is a big letdown.
I am a big letdown.

Friends are meh.

World is meh.

But I guess I was lying.
I just like to keep my 4 readers on the edge, spice things up.

I don't know what I'm doing with myself lately.

Lala after all this, I've had to have taken some kind of permanent damage.

And if you aren't confused enough:

I don't have time now, but my brain has been kind of swirly lately.