Spring Break has been kind to me.
Friday, April 17
At least once a week I find a spider in my shower.
I don't know how it gets there, but it does.
It always catches me by surprise, too.
The Daddy Long Legs, I think.
I really don't know what they find so attracting about my shower in the first place.
Jeez.
I usually flush them down the drain anyway. Poor things.
I mean, sure, if I wanted to, I could totally scoop those suckers up and toss them outside, let them live, but by the time I find them I'm usually already naked (T.M.I.? No such thing.) or really tired (I take my showers in the early morning or late night), so I just turn on the shower and watch them skitter skatter down.
This is why I will never be a plumber.
I'm just scared one day, while performing my normal plumberianial duties, I'll accidentally uncover a subterranean coalition (or perhaps support group) of spiders hell bent on my destruction.
You know, spiders that have survived one of my many attempts to drown them, or perhaps spiders who have relatives that have been drowned or at least have been severely crippled by my showers.
So anyway, when they see me, some of them will shout, "Get him!" (In a cute squeaky spider voice)
Others will have horrid flashbacks and crawl into the fetal position.
While others still will run in fear of my legendary body stench (pre-shower, mind you) and head for the hills.
Just kidding, gals. I use deodorant.
I also sketched an awesome picture of what I think aforementioned support group of spiders would look like but my scanner isn't working. Let me just tell you that this drawing of mine involved octo-casted spiders and spider invalids in wheelchairs.
Awesome!
(also, neck braces)
I don't know how it gets there, but it does.
It always catches me by surprise, too.
The Daddy Long Legs, I think.
I really don't know what they find so attracting about my shower in the first place.
Jeez.
I usually flush them down the drain anyway. Poor things.
I mean, sure, if I wanted to, I could totally scoop those suckers up and toss them outside, let them live, but by the time I find them I'm usually already naked (T.M.I.? No such thing.) or really tired (I take my showers in the early morning or late night), so I just turn on the shower and watch them skitter skatter down.
This is why I will never be a plumber.
I'm just scared one day, while performing my normal plumberianial duties, I'll accidentally uncover a subterranean coalition (or perhaps support group) of spiders hell bent on my destruction.
You know, spiders that have survived one of my many attempts to drown them, or perhaps spiders who have relatives that have been drowned or at least have been severely crippled by my showers.
So anyway, when they see me, some of them will shout, "Get him!" (In a cute squeaky spider voice)
Others will have horrid flashbacks and crawl into the fetal position.
While others still will run in fear of my legendary body stench (pre-shower, mind you) and head for the hills.
Just kidding, gals. I use deodorant.
I also sketched an awesome picture of what I think aforementioned support group of spiders would look like but my scanner isn't working. Let me just tell you that this drawing of mine involved octo-casted spiders and spider invalids in wheelchairs.
Awesome!
(also, neck braces)
