Ugh
Tuesday, September 25
Woke up at 6:57 AM after a truly terrible night of sleep but wonderful dreams. Like a bad acid trip, I feel sweaty and alive and slightly more grateful to be lucid.
But I'm already forgetting the dream which brought me to this stupid blog in the first place.
So the scene is, I'm in some anonymous plaza in Koreatown on an evening like any other. Except it's not because it's a dream and I'm with my high school dream sweetheart (who is probably like 80% one crush and 20% another). And I never, ever hang out in Koreatown in waking life. But anyway, we were both a couple years younger. That feels important.
Using both hands, she slaps and clasps my cheeks between her palms. (I don't really know how to describe this action, but this action basically was the whole dream."
"What?! You've never been to [Korean specific I can't remember anymore]?!" she screams excitedly.
People look at us.
"Oh, this is so embarassing," I think. But in a good way. It's nice being embarrassed by someone I love. That kind of "Oh, this is so embarassing."
I couldn't wait for her to take me where she wanted. To take me to go get mani-pedis or get weird Boba or do whatever else I've never done before. And to share that experience. I was ready and willing and happy to do so.
Then I woke up.
Yup, that's it. That's the best job I can do remembering that dream at this point. Like I said, I slept terribly. Woke up what felt like a dozen times and had a dozen dreams. Some of them were repeats I can remember having before. Like, being late or otherwise caught up on my way to a film screening. Traversing through the hills of UCSC campus.
But anyway, back to my wholesome dream date. I don't know. That moment felt so specific and intense. I don't know. I never came close to dating or really knowing this person but man. I feel truly sad. Like, on an existential level now. Then again, when do I not? But this dream somehow drudged up all my missed opportunities, missed lifetimes, missed experiences. Like a good acid trip.
Anyway, as a hint to myself so I don't forget who was in the dream. It was the girl who saw my snail boxers in the bungalow and laughed at them but not in a mean way. I wish I asked her out. Hey, if you're reading this and remember those boxers... Forget it. If I were a couple years younger, maybe.
Footnote: I drank a lot of wine last night.
But I'm already forgetting the dream which brought me to this stupid blog in the first place.
So the scene is, I'm in some anonymous plaza in Koreatown on an evening like any other. Except it's not because it's a dream and I'm with my high school dream sweetheart (who is probably like 80% one crush and 20% another). And I never, ever hang out in Koreatown in waking life. But anyway, we were both a couple years younger. That feels important.
Using both hands, she slaps and clasps my cheeks between her palms. (I don't really know how to describe this action, but this action basically was the whole dream."
"What?! You've never been to [Korean specific I can't remember anymore]?!" she screams excitedly.
People look at us.
"Oh, this is so embarassing," I think. But in a good way. It's nice being embarrassed by someone I love. That kind of "Oh, this is so embarassing."
I couldn't wait for her to take me where she wanted. To take me to go get mani-pedis or get weird Boba or do whatever else I've never done before. And to share that experience. I was ready and willing and happy to do so.
Then I woke up.
Yup, that's it. That's the best job I can do remembering that dream at this point. Like I said, I slept terribly. Woke up what felt like a dozen times and had a dozen dreams. Some of them were repeats I can remember having before. Like, being late or otherwise caught up on my way to a film screening. Traversing through the hills of UCSC campus.
But anyway, back to my wholesome dream date. I don't know. That moment felt so specific and intense. I don't know. I never came close to dating or really knowing this person but man. I feel truly sad. Like, on an existential level now. Then again, when do I not? But this dream somehow drudged up all my missed opportunities, missed lifetimes, missed experiences. Like a good acid trip.
Anyway, as a hint to myself so I don't forget who was in the dream. It was the girl who saw my snail boxers in the bungalow and laughed at them but not in a mean way. I wish I asked her out. Hey, if you're reading this and remember those boxers... Forget it. If I were a couple years younger, maybe.
Footnote: I drank a lot of wine last night.
