backpack dreams

Yes!
Now that I've done it once, it's super easy.
Fantastic. Also, the first few pictures are over a month old, till now, so, yes.

It's more enjoyable if you click them and go to the website, and there you have an option to go fullscreen, so it's more fun that way, and yes, I did this thing when you press one button to add a shitload of contrast and make the pictures a lot darker, which was good, because they were really washed out before, so even if you don't like them now... I promise they were worse before. Don't judge these pictures...

And...

In case you missed it.
And this one, I'm a little ashamed of, but okay.

Labels: anticipate river music videos

I have pictures.
But uploading to Blogger is such a bitch.
But listen to this... ta-ha!
I'll just upload them to some other host and post the link.
In fact, lots of them already are uploaded...
Tomorrow, promise.

Also, here is a video of me at the aquarium, I did take this WONDERFUL footage myself, but judging from the video you would never know it's me.
It's the first result when you search "unexciting korea," which is exciting.



I know it skips around and stuff... it's not artwork... but I did it fast!

Author's note: It's also the only result when you search "unexciting korea." Just goes to show you what kind of world we live in...

Labels: i drank three bottles of something really sugary and now i'm kind of woopsy daisy

So cool!
http://gizmodo.com/5324102/this-blue-rat-may-have-the-secret-to-avoid-spinal-cord-injuries

Woke up, fell asleep, woke back up, watched James and the Giant Peach, and now I am sitting on my bed typing this.
James and the Giant Peach only served to depress me, which depresses me, but I think it's just this late night "oh I'm so lonely and existential I'm but a speck of dust in big black space (token black universe) woe is me!" mentality. Some lines in the movie were funny.
And the guy who accidentally ate rat poison in Dumb and Dumber has a role in it, too.
Oh I'm so lonely and existential I'm but a speck of dust woe is me!
I am also hungry, because apparently I slept through lunch. Oh lord, at least my room is clean, I cleaned it because I thought I would be teaching in here tonight, but I didn't have to, but now it's clean so I feel less like a slob. But the bad part is I have no chair for my table, now, because my dad needed it for his bigger class, and now I'm too lazy to get it so I'm now having this in my lap and the fan of it is tickling me thighs. Oohee hee hee. Aroused? Should be.
Cricket cricket cricket cricket outside my window.
Attracting mates, that stridulation must be pretty damn sexy to them female crickets.
It's much different with humans, I guess. Not as simple as making noise to attract mates.
Or maybe it is.
Oh no here it comes!!!
Stopping myself before I get all teenage-philosophical on the Internet's ass.
Seriously, almost didn't catch myself there.
Still chirping. These crickets have been perpetuating their DNA over millions and millions of years so it has perfectly evolved to annoy the titties out of my vagina.
The noise could be much worse, though, if you think about it.
We're just lucky it didn't evolve to make the noise of like, I don't know, something gross or nasty. Like farts or something.
But I guess if we didn't like the noise enough, we would have killed all of them off a long time ago.
It works! Darwin was right!
I am shaking my fist to you, baby Jesus.
This fist is made of science and winner after winner after winner of the great contest called reproduction.
This is what my ancestors courted for.
Generations of sperm and egg, awkward face acne, unwanted hairs, and the sloughing of countless cells of the endometrium leading up to this unsorry SOB they call Matthew Kegan Park!

Roar!

(sorry mom)

Labels: poseur, wannabe misanthrope

No more comments!
Got an opinion about that?
Too bad! No comments!
You'll have to tell me through some other form of communication.

So I was searching for something to eat around the house, anything, I was hungry.
And I found an apple! Wonderful.
So I wash the apple, as hygenic people do.
After I finish I open up the dishwasher for a knife.
No knives!
Strange.
I open up that one cabinet with the knife holder built into it (which is kind of cool, by the way).
No dice!
So now I'm pacing the kitchen tossing and twirling the apple up and down, letting all the pesky droplets freckle my ass and titties, wondering where all the knives are.
Where have all of them gone?
Where are they?
Where else could they be?
The best explanation I could think of was that someone is secretly stockpiling all the knives in the house either to a) prepare themselves for some ninja-tastic murderous showdown or b) hide them after staining them with the blood of their victims.
Either way, they could keep the knives, because obviously they had a short temper and wanted them far more than I did, so I resigned to simply biting into that bitch like our ancestors.
So I'm going back to my room, to finish Christmas on Mars, which is a weird as fuck movie, but I'm giving it a chance, and there it is!
A single, baby-blue handled, serrated, fully operational stainless steel knife.
What the hell!
First reaction was joy(HOLY SHIT I WAS JUST EATING A PLUM AND I JUST ATE A WORM, FOR THE SAKE OF THIS POST I'LL CONTINUE EW FUCKING ASS).
Second reaction was fear.
Why fear? (ew, shit disgusting)
Because the knife was on MY NIGHTSTAND, in MY room.
What? Huh?
The only logical explanation was that I am indeed bipolar, and during the night I go out into the streets of Wonju murdering innocents by the score with my vast array of kitchen knives. Of course I'm not sure where other-me hid the other knives, he must of just gotten careless with this one. (my tummy feels sick)
I felt like I was watching Hide and Seek with Robert de Niro. (Pop culture reference!) Although I don't really know what that feels like, since I never watched it, I just read the spoilers online. It got bad reviews anyway.
So I'm a murderer by night, unrelenting blogger by day.
But, anyway, I take the knife, accepting my fate as the next Jack the Ripper, and slice open that juicy whore only to find brownness! Brownness, in MY apple!
It was disgusting. Honestly, it was like someone took a butthole and then grafted the butthole into an apple just as it was beginning to grow creating a weird ass-apple hybrid that looks perfectly normal from the outside but is actually all sorts of disgusting inside.
It was like some weird bacteria brown sludgy city of filth in apple. I didn't really see any worms, and if there were any, they were doing a pretty damn good job of hiding, but shit.
(now I'm thinking about how I just ate one, nasty)
So I give up and begin eating some plums, instead, and begin writing this.
And I'm kind of switching back and forth, letting my creative juices flow and letting some plum juices flow as well! Ha..haha..ha...hahahaha...ha...ha...haha.....ha.
See what I did there?
Well anyway, I'm on my third plum, and after I take the last bite, I see that little tunnel, that little home for that bitch-ass. It's like God doesn't want me eating fruit.
I want to punish that worm so much.
I can see why he'd want to live in a plum though, shit'd be awesome.
Reminds me of James and the Giant Peach.
I think I want to watch that again.
But first, back to Christmas on Mars.
Fred Armisen singing? What the shit?

So there you go. I'm a secret nighttime murderer and an accidental worm eater.

Labels: boredom, i have no chair to sit on, seriously

I also have a story about a cat.
And Timecrimes was very fun, even though the English dubbing was pretty annoying, but I got used to it.
I recommend it if you like getting your MIND FUCKED VERTICALLY AND TOSSED IN A GUTTER.
Seriously.
Shit is crazy.
I even knew some spoilers and I was still like WAH.

Also, I bumped into the mother of one of the girls I am tootaring. She actually gave me the money for the hours I put in. Weird that she just happened to have enough money on her like that, and an envelope, no less!
Coinkeedink, I guess.

Also, I want to remove the ability to comment on these posts, because no one really does, so I figured I might as well, but then I'm still holding out... I'm too stubborn. To disable comments would be to admit defeat!

Boy, I got over that argument fast.

Labels: also also also also also, so basically comment because i am ronery. :(

Got into an argument with my dad during dinner.
Long story short, I'm staying until Thursday instead of Sunday.

Bright side is that I might actually be able to bungee jump! And I might also be able to buy more gifts.

I have mixed feelings about going back home.

So I think it's too late for any bungee jumping.
Can't say I'm not a little dissapointed.
:(
I woke up late, and my dad says thats why we didn't go.
Which means he probably woke up late, too, since he didn't wake me.

We suck!!!
Maybe sometime during the week, probably not though.

Thursday!
Also, I probably didn't get you some sort of souvenir. I am sorry.

Also, I saw some sunflowers on the way there. And I don't ever really remember seeing sunflowers like that, so that was neat.
Also, on the way back, I'm pretty sure I farted at least twice on the bus. Just felt like documenting that. TMI? EMI? Sex Pistols? Johnny Rotten? Butter? Dairy? Cows? Factory Farms? Supersize me? Morgan Spurlock? Morgan WARLOCK? Wikka? Twilight? Robert Pattinson?
I read an article saying that sitting down with the goal of figuring out your 'purpose in life' by writing everything that comes to mind has made 80-90% cry within an hour of writing. Sounds like bullhonkey to me but I'll probably try it on the plane ride home. It would suck if I was wrong and I actually did start crying. Of course, then, I guess I'd know what I'd want to do with my life. But then of ourse we'd probably crash or something. If only it were that easy.
College college college.

I'm downloadan TIMECRIMES right now, or shall I say "Lo cronocrimenes"! (punctuation within the apostrophe?)
I really promise to upload some pictures.
I forget if I wrote in a different post (and I don't want to click out and check) if I went to an aquarium, today.
Well, I did.
It was fun.
Video from that, too.
And pictures.
And there's stuff I did not take pictures of, so I guess I'll tell you all about them. Yes.
Pictures.

Labels: princess choo choo is just a cat

I went to Seoul once again.
And ate at Sizzler's.
Which was kind of weird. Pretty much any restaurant or food place that comes from America is automatically super classy.
The total for just me and my dad was 76,000 won! Which is probably a little less than $70.
I felt sad, because my dad thought he would get a discount with his card, but he didn't.
Well, since it was so expensive, it did taste better than Sizzler's in the US. Not by a super large margin though, but it was yummy.
And I did other stuff.
It was a long day, and I sort of want to write about it but I don't see much point.
But I guess I sort of have bad memory, but I don't want to go through the trouble.

If weather permits: bungee jumping tomorrow! Just a baby 55m though. I think I'm gonna puke mid-jump. Wish me luck, suckers!

I'm a bad gift-finder.
I'm trying! :(

My dad wanted me to help him with another class (joy), so I sat in and checked their homework.
One of the girls wrote down 'cuntry' as a synonym for exercise. Yes!

I am now going to list the things I long for. I tend to want things that are more within my reach, money-wise, because that makes them all the more tantalizing. Ah!
Listing begin!
-Gateway NV5606u laptop. It's perfect! I need. It just looks so pretty. *
-Ricoh CX-1 point-n-shoot. Seems perfect for fooling around with. *
-Kitty t-shirts... No real explanation. *
-A new bike. I am spoiledz.
-A car??? AMC Pacer, mmm. I don't care what they say, I think you are beautiful. But, the whole driving thing can wait for me.
-Some sort of shopping spree to buy some new better fitting clothing. *
-Manhattan Portage bag. Oh wait, I already purchased one! Yes! Consumerism! Yes!
-Darth Vader Lightsaber flashlight... Google it. *
-A new harmonica, I seem to have lost mine. :( *?
-A new bass, there are lots of models I would enjoy. Realistically probably an Epiphone Thunderbird.
-An amp. :( Expensive... But if I could choose probably an Ashdown combo amp... Probably a 2 x 10'. Nothing humongous.
-An mp3 player! Jeez! A Zune would be nice. But I figure any player could do. *
-Automatic juicer. Seems obscure but having one would be cool, even though they're kind of a waste of energy anyway. I just like how it feels against my hand. Think Saladfingers and rust. The juice is nice, too. *
-A nice pair of headphones, not earbuds, but headphones.
-A keyboard or synth. A workstation would be cool but they are too expensive and I don't really need one. Just a decent keyboard.
-Miscellaneous supplies and toys for my slowly withering hobby of circuit bending.
-A really soft-ass futon. Oh, how I love futons. *
-A really convincing set of costumes.
-Roller-blades, although I'd be too embarassed to do this in public, so I guess a private rink, too.
-A tree. Any kind that I am able to sit under, but preferably with roots that go all tangly tangly that I can trip over and hide things under them or I don't know.

I guess I wanted a lot more things than I thought. :(
Shame on me! Although I could really do without many of these things, it's just if I could get them all I would.
Asterisk denotes something I aim to get within the next few years, at the latest.
I guess this is mostly for me, but if you want to buy me a tree or a couple of nice-ass futons, do it.


Also, I changed my mind, 5602u.

Labels: greedy boy, selfishness

I came back from the supermarket with some new dog food, so I poured some of those SOBs into my dog's bowl. She starts eating it super fast, and usually she really really dislikes her dry kibblets, but this was a new brand, so I assumed this one was much tastier. So quite stupidly, I take a small pinch of her food and place it in my mouth, chewed it, and swallowed it.
Regret.

Also, at the market, I heard someone fart and I asked my dad if he did, to which he replied with a fart.
I still don't know who farted that first time, though.

Glenn Beck is a fool!
He's like a child... haha.
Really, I mean it.
He kind of looks like Mr. Hogan, too.
I mean, not even talking about his different viewpoints, he's just an ass.
God! How does he have his own show?
Even if you are conservative or libertarian or fartirarian or whatever, he is just so full of anger and weirdness. I can barely stand to even acknowledge we live in the same country.

My blog is like a worse version of Taxi Cab Confessions.
Pictures are coming.
I SWEAR.

Don't complain about it.
Both names were/are being used as a massive advertisement.
Sears investment expired, they could probably give less than a rat's ass.
If anything, protesting the name just gives them more money (Willis, that is).
Maybe you can love a building's name. (WHAT'S IN A NAME?)
I guess you can love the building, too.
But the building nor it's name will never love you back!

Why am I getting so worked up about something so incredibly insignificant?

Sleep, I should sleep.

P.S. WEBCHAT WITH ME! IT'S INCREDIBLY LAGGY BUT IT'S WORTH IT TO SEE ME IN (almost) REAL-TIME.

I hope I dream something pleasant, although I guess that makes me somewhat of a hypocrite.

Labels: handmade mentos are the tastiest

It is late night for me and mid-morning for you.
You have yet to experience July 16th, 2009, but I already have.
Let me tell you, it's not that great.

I just feel very tired right now.

Hey, I just had a really original thought. I wish I could be in elementary school again.
That was amazing.
Why is childhood so great and the rest of life so average (leaning towards lame) in comparison.
Granted, not everyone had a great childhood. And to be honest, mine wasn't even that great.
If I recounted every memory and every little teeny weeny chapter of my childhood in some sort autobiography or something, it would probably be pretty sad, I guess.
Probably would make you want to punch a baby in the head just so you could comfort it afterwards.
I'm tired. But I want to watch a movie before I go to bed, which really makes no sense at all, since I could just watch it tomorrow but I guess I just want to watch the movie.
One of em is at 69% right now. Ha ha ha hee hee hee ho ho ho.
Goodfellas or Punch Drunk Love?
Try to telepathically tell me which one to watch, try to send that brain signal backwards through time, send it all the way to Korea, and I'll tell you if you were right or wrong.
Ha, I'm crazy!
But I don't think I'd want to go to a shrink.
I was thinking about it today. I used to think I'd want one, but I don't think anything good would come of it.
Maybe I'm not some nutcase or maybe I don't have some weird brain disorder.
Maybe I'm just weird.
Which I really think is worse than all of those other things combined.
Ate a whole roll of Fuji Apple Mentos today.
Not that I'm trying to guilt trip myself cause of the calories or anything like that. I could care less.
It's just that they didn't even taste that great.
For some reason, when I was chewing those little roundlings, I just imagined a large machine injecting batches of hot, melted, sugar into tiny little molds. Fill a row, move it down, fill the next row, etc.
Too much Food Channel? That's probably not how they make them anyway.
I'd much rather each one of them be handcrafted by an old Swedish maid living out the rest of her days on her father's old dairy farm with nothing better to do than to mold and shift sugar into bite size candies for teenagers all across the globe.
It'd be better if I knew that she kissed and cherished each roll she sent out, that she held a picture of each person that she knew she was making the roll for. That each little colored circle took hours and hours of labor. Her sweat and tears literally in the candy, her blood shading the chiclet the right color. That she studied that customer and knew why they were eating the candy that she made and what they wanted to do with their life and what kind of person they were and how much they'd appreciate her candy. What? What am I writing? Whatever, no proofreading or double checking or changing anything. This is RAW SHIT, man. This is real life. This is the blood pumping out of my veins into my very keyboard and gushing into the tubes of the internet and splashing out of your screen, penetrating your eye jelly and infecting your mind!
I take blogging that seriously, folks. It's my life. It really is.
Anyway, that would seem a lot more personal.
I'm sick of this prepackaged mumbo jumbo, I want something for me!
I'm selfish.

Also, did you know I saw more man dick in my life a few days ago than probably all the man dicks all the readers of this blog see combined? Probably not that much, still. Unless one of you has gone to a sauna. Lots of man dick there, if you're a man, that is.
I happen to have gone to a sauna, and apparently, I am a man.
That's how I saw a lot of man dick.
Have I ever told you that one time where I saw literally truckloads of man dick?
I'm not sure if it happened at the sauna.
The one sauna, the one with lots of man dick, but only if you're a man.
Man dick.

This is my 101st post. Hooray for palindromes. Normal words and numbers that aren't palindromes are so fucking single-minded and suck ass.

Labels: mandrake

Greetings, pictures to come soon. I promise.

I did upload the photos, to the other laptop.
I forgot to upload them to Blogger and then I had to go stay at my cousin's until now, which was fun, I just got back.
So, lots of stuff happened, and I don't want to waste time typing it up here, I'll just tell you all about it when I get back. :)
And some pictures, coming soon.
And they may look oversaturated and supercontrasty.
It's because my dad's camera tends to take pictures incredibly washed out, and I may have overcompensated a bit on Picasa.
Yes, I'm a disgrace. Well the pictures aren't really meant to be artsy or anything.
So, yes.
Abhormones.
I am so clever!

I'm uploading them right now.

By some fortunate twist of fate I did not have to tutor today.
Here is an image.

My dad wants to go biking again, get this, tomorrow... morning!
No!*
He also informed me that I'll have to "teach" that poor poor girl again tomorrow.
Really, no one deserves to have to spend one hour with me awkwardly spouting English and questions at them.
It's shameful, really.
Also, the room I'm staying in is beginning to smell like ASS.
I don't know why. Really, I don't.
My room at home smells like the rest of the house (a little better, maybe).
I use ass as more of a general term, because, to be honest, I can't really figure out what the stench is.
And it's only in MY room.
What?
Why?
When?
Who?
Where?
How?
Oh well.
I can't believe my dad is getting paid for this.

*Biking last time wasn't that bad, to be honest. The uphill climb sucked but the downhill was lots of fun. He took me on an actual trail up in the hills. But whenever I bike uphill I can't help but long for the relaxing downhill but whenever I go downhill I can't help but think that I'll probably have to go back uphill on the same slope again later...
:X
I'm still not really sure what that emoticon means but I like using it anyway.

Being alive is a huge responsibility!
I can barely stand it.
I feel a great pressure to do something.
I don't want to die unaccomplished, but if these first 16 years are any indication of the rest of my life (and they probably are a very very good indication), then I'm in a bit of a pickle.
Children's TV has taught me everybody has a special talent or skill, but what the hell is mine?
Also, my dad has got me private 1-on-1 tutoring with a Korean (obviously) girl named MinSuh or something.
I don't really like using this word but it seems appropriate here.
Awwwwwwwwwwkwaaaaard.
Sorry MinSuh.
If you ever learn English properly and stumble upon this blog, sorry.
sad emoticon, teardrop optional

Labels: looks don't count